i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
two words...techno handjob
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
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