oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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