I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
