The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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