I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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