Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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