i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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