so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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