And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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