i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize