like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
