I accidentally burped into my bong.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
