Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize