speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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