She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
