I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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