I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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