Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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