sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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