I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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