soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
