Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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