you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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