If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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