I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
