Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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