between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
sex in a hospital.. check
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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