It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
