Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
