I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
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I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
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I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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