dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
