My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
