I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
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Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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