if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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