were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
porn star boner night. come get it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
