I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
