I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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