What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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