Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
im on a boat
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