Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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