God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
