i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
