As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
