# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
