i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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