Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
