Don't you send me to vm
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
