She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
