he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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