oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
