my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
