I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize