I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
