i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Randomize
