Your tits are I can't wait for
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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