I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
