Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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