She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
