operation harelip BJ is a go
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
