Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
