Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
