I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
